Story Of the Month

Survivor Story of the Month

TW: Sexual Assault

For New Years 2019, I was hanging out with a guy that I was honestly pretty comfortable with. We had been on and off for a little bit at that point, but we had grew quite close, so I thought I could trust him. Anyway, that whole night we were at his friends house for a party so the only person I even knew was him. He took me upstairs to a bedroom, and we made out for awhile. After sometime he started to get more aggressive and asked me if I was “ready for it.” He knew my stance from the start, so I told him no multiple times to remind him, yet he didn’t listen. He then unbuckled my belt and put his hands down my pants.

I immediately froze and honestly felt so helpless. It felt like I didn’t have a choice but to go along with it. I ended up pushing him off and called an Uber to leave the party. After that, it took me awhile to tell some of my friends, but I couldn’t even tell them the full extent of what happened because I thought they would just think I was overreacting. I tried to explain to him how he made me feel, but he just told me I was being a “pussy”, that he was drunk, and I should “fuck off.” I blamed myself for a long time afterwards, shut myself off from people, and refused to completely accept the fact that this wasn’t on me. I eventually sought for help, but that journey took me some time after months and months of trying to move the blame off of myself. Even once I got to college, I closed myself off from meeting guys just because I was scared they would all turn out like this.